by matttbastard
Perhaps it won’t heal SJP’s pain, but The Boston Phoenix’s annual 100 Most Unsexiest Men of the Year list does offer some choice smackdowns on a number of decidedly ineligible dickheads (most of whom have likely read Maxim at least once in their lives–solely for the articles, of course).
Re: aging glam metal reality show reject Bret Michaels:
Once accustomed to sloppy seconds, Michaels is now just sloppy: lumpy and oily, headband wound tight to cloak oddly shaped ears and rat’s-nest hair extensions. He resembles Goldie Hawn on steroids, or maybe a swollen bear cub tangled up in a camper’s leftover potty bandana.
And former Fox News blowhard John Gibson:
They say after age 40, you get the face you deserve. And Gibson’s— smirking mouth of yellowy, Chiclet-sized teeth; sallow skin; beady eyes framed by unstylish glasses; hair a cross between that of a televangelist’s and Eraserhead’s — is the perfect match for his twisted personality. It’s not that the Fox News host is conservative; it’s that he’s a prick.
Giggity.
h/t Roxanne
Update: Ok, is it that difficult to spread the sweet, sweet schadenfreude without resorting to cheap shots re: weight and gender identity? Sheesh.
bastard.logic 