A Superficial Antidote to Maxim’s Mindless Misogyny

by matttbastard

Perhaps it won’t heal SJP’s pain, but The Boston Phoenix’s annual 100 Most Unsexiest Men of the Year list does offer some choice smackdowns on a number of decidedly ineligible dickheads (most of whom have likely read Maxim at least once in their lives–solely for the articles, of course).

Re: aging glam metal reality show reject Bret Michaels:

Once accustomed to sloppy seconds, Michaels is now just sloppy: lumpy and oily, headband wound tight to cloak oddly shaped ears and rat’s-nest hair extensions. He resembles Goldie Hawn on steroids, or maybe a swollen bear cub tangled up in a camper’s leftover potty bandana.

And former Fox News blowhard John Gibson:

They say after age 40, you get the face you deserve. And Gibson’s— smirking mouth of yellowy, Chiclet-sized teeth; sallow skin; beady eyes framed by unstylish glasses; hair a cross between that of a televangelist’s and Eraserhead’s — is the perfect match for his twisted personality. It’s not that the Fox News host is conservative; it’s that he’s a prick.

Giggity.

h/t Roxanne

Update: Ok, is it that difficult to spread the sweet, sweet schadenfreude without resorting to cheap shots re: weight and gender identity? Sheesh.

Recommend this post at Progressive Bloggers

One thought on “A Superficial Antidote to Maxim’s Mindless Misogyny

  1. The Bret Michaels comment is THE funniest observation I’ve found on the web. Michaels, turns 46 on March 15, 2009, has a common law wife and kids in Canada, would be better served finding a co-writer who could help him create digestable music to boost his faded career. Instead, he’s sold out to a sleazy reality series, posturing and drooling over dizzy-headed 20-somethings who are only interested in self-promotion and don’t care how they go about it. Yuk. Dump the make-up and wig, retreat to the woods and find your self-respect Mr. Michaels, its out there somewhere….

    Like

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