Putting a Bullet in the Head of the Charitable Holiday Spirit

by matttbastard

Wacker rhymes haven’t been spit since Homer dropped the Mr. Plow Rap (“Promise us you’ll never do that again!”)

h/t Kevin K. by way of Sully

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‘Tis the Season…

by matttbastard


(Anyone wanna pass along this ReligiousTolerance.org post to both Sarah Michalak and Bill O’Reilly?)

Related: Paul the Spud is made of WIN. That is all.

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Crank Dat

by matttbastard

So good it almost makes up for my (former) main man, Mike, selling his soul to the Libertarian Party.


(Oh, and as for the unfortunate “SexyPolitics.com” shout out at the end: what was that about gender discrimination in politics? Yeah, well, exactly. Sigh.)

h/t Hilzoy

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A Superficial Antidote to Maxim’s Mindless Misogyny

by matttbastard

Perhaps it won’t heal SJP’s pain, but The Boston Phoenix’s annual 100 Most Unsexiest Men of the Year list does offer some choice smackdowns on a number of decidedly ineligible dickheads (most of whom have likely read Maxim at least once in their lives–solely for the articles, of course).

Re: aging glam metal reality show reject Bret Michaels:

Once accustomed to sloppy seconds, Michaels is now just sloppy: lumpy and oily, headband wound tight to cloak oddly shaped ears and rat’s-nest hair extensions. He resembles Goldie Hawn on steroids, or maybe a swollen bear cub tangled up in a camper’s leftover potty bandana.

And former Fox News blowhard John Gibson:

They say after age 40, you get the face you deserve. And Gibson’s— smirking mouth of yellowy, Chiclet-sized teeth; sallow skin; beady eyes framed by unstylish glasses; hair a cross between that of a televangelist’s and Eraserhead’s — is the perfect match for his twisted personality. It’s not that the Fox News host is conservative; it’s that he’s a prick.


h/t Roxanne

Update: Ok, is it that difficult to spread the sweet, sweet schadenfreude without resorting to cheap shots re: weight and gender identity? Sheesh.

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Referrer Link Follies

by matttbastard

Too true:

This is definitely not a credible source. First of all, the website is called “bastard.logic.” Secondly, their news headline is “Obama ‘bout ta pop a cap in jeff Zeleny’s Azz!” It seems to be a personal blog, and apart from using a lot of profanity and slang, it also is full of typo’s [sic]. Furthemore, it lacks any credible outside sources.

If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be off in the corner crying alongside the folks @ Talking Points Memo (who apparently get no quarter re: credibility, despite winning a Polk Award earlier this week).



Damn kids.

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