Carlson Doth Protest WAY Too Much

by matttbastard

Yep – nothing says ‘teh funny’ (and ‘teh masculine’) like bashing a fag’s skull against a bathroom stall. Alright, we get the point Tucker. You’re so not gay; you’re apparently an unindicted (and unrepentant) violent hate criminal.

(Also, take your long-past-the-best-before-date Clenis™ non-sequiturs and shove ’em right up your oh-so-hetero ass, you ex-bow-tie-wearing fuckwad.)

Via TAPPED (with LOTS more @ Memeorandum).

Update: Pam Spaulding points to the following asscovering clarification statement Carlson’s camp sent to Media Matters today:

Let me be clear about an incident I referred to on MSNBC last night: In the mid-1980s, while I was a high school student, a man physically grabbed me in a men’s room in Washington, DC. I yelled, pulled away from him and ran out of the room. Twenty-five minutes later, a friend of mine and I returned to the men’s room. The man was still there, presumably waiting to do to someone else what he had done to me. My friend and I seized the man and held him until a security guard arrived. Several bloggers have characterized this is a sort of gay bashing. That’s absurd, and an insult to anybody who has fought back against an unsolicited sexual attack. I wasn’t angry with the man because he was gay. I was angry because he assaulted me.

Once again:

“I went back with someone I knew and grabbed the guy by the — you know, and grabbed him, and … hit him against the stall with his head, actually.

We report, you decide (yeah, yeah it was on MSNBC – same difference, lately.)

Update 2 (related): ‘GOP’ is to ‘hypocrisy’ as ‘Pope’ is to ‘Catholic’.

Update 08.30 (related): David Ehrenstein on ‘I’m-not-gays’ and the ‘Tearoom Trade’.
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13 thoughts on “Carlson Doth Protest WAY Too Much

  1. Okay, so, because I’m work, I can’t view the video, but… um… how does Tuck know the guy wanted to have teh buttsecks?

    Maybe he just wanted to beat the hell out of the little shit for a while? It is Tucker Carlson after all.


  2. When you get home you gotta watch the video, Kyle. Abrams and Scarborough think Tucker’s anecdote is the funniest thing since Bumfights.

    (Also, BILL CLINTON!!!111)


  3. Just caught it on Crooks and Liars (they use WMV… no problems at work)

    Let me say this… I would be deeply shamed if someone like Tuck managed to bash my head against a wall without at the very least receiving an ass beatin’ as a result. that “other guy” must have been one bad ass mofo because despite his retelling of it, I have the vague feeling he went screaming through the halls like a little girl.


  4. Honestly? I think Tuck was trying to ‘butch up’ during a dickwaving locker room bullshit session – except, oops, ol’ Tuck forgot that he was on live cable TV at the time and not in some Beltway speakeasy away from the glare of the public spotlight.

    Talk about being caught with your pants down.


  5. No offense intended, Kyle, but I would personally want to avoid legitimizing the notion (and I’m not saying that you’re doing this) that Tucker not responding in a violent manner (or not wanting to) would somehow represent an affront to ‘masculinity’, nor that the ‘feminine’ should be considered a pejorative.

    To me, Tucker Carlson is loathsome because of the delight he took in recounting his (apparent) actions, not because some might consider him to be ‘effeminate’ (and that’s just taking into account this specific instance – don’t get me started on his racial issues and sexism).

    With that said, I too find it difficult to picture Carlson bashing in a hard-boiled egg, let alone a grown man’s head.


  6. You’re last paragraph was pretty much where I was going with this. I find it ironic that someone who looks like was carved out of Jello(tm) is on national tv boasting about bashing ANYONE’S head in.

    One thing I found particularly loathesome was the speakeasy atmosphere, as you pointed out. Here you got a bunch of guys, and Tuck is sitting there “I’m totally not anti-gay” “I’m the most non anti-gay guy around” and yet they’re all laughing their asses off as they dive for cover to protect their own masculinity.

    Ah the contradictions do not end with this crowd. Fish in a barrel, why would anyone bother shooting at them, it’s so easy it gets boring after a while.


  7. Because they’re an endless source of amusement and effortless inspiration/exasperation?

    What, you expect us lazy pajama-wearers to write about substantial topics that require nuance and effort? :-P


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