Nuts to You

by matttbastard

Jesse Taylor provides the ultimate breakdown of the teabagging phenomenon:

It’s a group of fucknuts joining other groups of marginally related fucknuts to protest something or other, in a hugely fucknutty way.  The point of the Tea Party movement, besides the largest thrusting of testicles to America’s collective face since the Soviets launched Sputnik, is to protest…well, basically the entire functioning of the government with no alternative plan or goal whatsoever.  The stated purpose of the protests is “protest against out of control government spending”, which, while something, is also terribly and uselessly vague.  It’s easy to lump in the gun nut survivalists and the Paulies and any number of other wackos because a mission to do stuff (and things!) tends to welcome in anyone who has similar feelings about the top-level definition of “stuff”.  When you have a bunch of angry people welcoming a bunch of other angry people with no core principles or mission, it’s hard to get pissy when you all of a sudden find yourself standing beside Clem the White Supremacist Marksman with your “NO PORKULUS” sign.

As for the leaked DHS report that has the usual suspects gleefully ejaculating fauxtrage as if Obama was milking their persecution complex like it was a prostate gland? Yeah, I get where Steve M. and Spackerman are coming from when they earnestly ask us tax-and-spend socialists to put the collectively-made shoe on the other foot re: ‘fifth columns’. But I’ve also read enough Neiwert to know that the line separating ‘mainstream’ (snerk) wingnuts from their far-right brethren is fine as pure silk–and that line grows ever thinner with every crocodile tear Glenn Beck sheds.

Plus, as Dave Weigel, quoted by Spackerman, observes:

I struggle to find anything wrong in a close — not a willfully obtuse — reading of the report. I’m nine days out of a huge machine gun show in Kentucky. I know that all of the gun stuff in this report is true.

[…]

Do I actually think the [teaparty] protesters want to overthrow the government? No, of course not. But if they want to use this rhetoric, they can’t really be too angry when the government frets about a rising tide of violent government overthrow rhetoric. If the Tea Parties are just a bunch of harmless cosplay nonsense directed at beating Democrats in the 2010 elections, they can say so.

Seriously.

Because, really, this:

oklahomacity

is a pretty goddamn good reason for the US federal government to be just a little bit wary about the increasingly shrill anti-government rhetoric eminating from the right.

YMMV.

Update: Ok, this is starting to freak me out — when the flying Malkin monkey fuck did Little Green Footballs become, um, rational and reasonable?

I’m frightened.

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The Party of Batshit (We Report, You Decide)

by matttbastard

Via MMfA:

This montage illustrates exactly what Charles Johnson was talking about when he recently said that the guano loco-ization of Fox News “will achieve nothing in the long run except further marginalization of the GOP—unless people start behaving like adults instead of angry kids throwing tantrums and ranting about conspiracies and revolution.” Yeah.  Angry kids at Columbine throwing (deadly) tantrums with AR-15s (get ’em before Obama repeals the 2nd amendment!)

Make sure to also check out Glenn Beck’s unhinged object lesson on how Obama wants to (rhetorically!) immolate “average Americans” via immigration policy (talk about inflammatory rhetoric).

Remember when we were all bemoaning the fact that an ‘extremist’ like Rush had the GOP establishment by the short and curlies? Compared to these characters, Limbaugh is looking positively rational.  And the Republican governor of Texas is “proud” to be associated with those eagerly giving a platform to the Birchers and the end-timers.

“[F]urther marginalization of the GOP,” indeed.

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Dear Wingnut Fuckhelmets

When Charles fucking Johnson is starting to sound like the voice of fucking reason, you need to step back a bit and do a little reflection. Your fucking party–your fucking MOVEMENT–is in complete shambles. And pinning your 2010 (and 2012) hopes on tapping the Jerry Springer wing of the party is, um, well, yeah (although the increasingly-ugly trailer-park feud between the Palins and the Johnstons makes for AWESOME daytime TV viewing–who says the GOP doesn’t give a steaming pile of elephant crap about the needs of unemployed American workers?)

In other words, less teabagging and unhinged black helicopter rhetoric, more rebuilding — y’all are gonna give Patrick Ruffini a fucking aneurysm.

Wait — what am I saying? Please, KEEP doing what you’re doing; me and my socialistcommiemaoistredistributionist fellow travellers can’t help but get off watching movement conservatism self-destruct in such a spectacularly absurd–and highly public–manner (also, fuck Patrick Ruffini). Seriously, who needs The Onion or SNL when you have Glenn Beck and Michele Bachmann bringin’ teh schadenfreude-infused lulz?

Of course, it all stops seeming so fucking funny when someone who isn’t in on the joke ends up taking things a bit too far and people end up, y’know, dying. Imagine that–words actually have meaning; actions have consequences. Would that y’all took your responsibility as thought leaders (snicker) seriously.

Yeah, and a dapple-gray pony clad in golden horseshoes.

hugs and handjobs,

matttbastard

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