Something Stinks (And it’s Not Stockboy’s Wetsuit)

by matttbastard

Stockwell Day: the only person on earth who sucks at bullshitting more than Lindsay Lohan does:

The Bloc rebutted Harper’s criticisms, claiming that in 2000 then-Canadian Alliance leader Stockwell Day, now Harper’s trade minister, had proposed a coalition with the BQ the day after the Liberals under Jean Chretien won.

“My DNA would never allow me to do a deal with the socialists and my heart would never allow me to do a deal with the separatists,” Day said, claiming he never saw or heard about the document until last night.

Day dared the Bloc to repeat its allegations outside the House, where MPs are not protected against accusations of libel by privilege.

“Maybe he was dreaming this, but for me and Canadians this would have been a nightmare,” Day said.

But minutes later, a BQ official handed out the letter sent by Day.

It proposed “a new consensus government” that would be led by “Stockwell Day as Prime Minister of Canada.”

It referenced talks that had been held on ministers’ jobs, a speech from the throne, and what support the BQ would provide, as well as Joe Clark, then-leader of the PC party.

Come on now, let’s not jump to any conclusions. Maybe Stockboy had a heart transplant in the interim. Hey, I’m trying to be charitable here.

Related: More from the Globe and Mail on the 2000 Canadian Alliance separatist-wooing coalition plot, which, as reporter Daniel LeBlanc dryly notes, “undermines the Harper government’s line this week that it would never sign a deal like the current one between the Liberal Party, the NDP and the Bloc.” Make sure to check out this PDF copy of the letter that Stockboy so glibly dismissed as a kooky BQ fever dream (before reality viciously woke him up with a slap upside the head).

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Dear Corporate Media Assbuckets

Yes, Virginia, they DO get paid for this horseshit.

Using talk radio as a bellwether for broader public sentiment is only a slightly less ridiculous practice than citing the results of online polls like they’re actually quantifiable.  Seriously — did you neglect to read Guy Giorno’s email last week? Y’know, the one y’all mysteriously “obtained” (and dutifully published) that instructed Harpercon fellow travellers to flood the airwaves and the internet with Blue kool-aid?

Anyone? Bueller?

luv and handjobs,


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Dear Conservative Fuckbaskets


Show some fucking decency and pick another date to hold your little partisan circle jerk Rally for Canada.

Hugs ‘n’ kisses,


P.S. *points* Ha ha! /Nelson Muntz

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Cynical Psychic Friends Network

by matttbastard

Shorter Andrew Sullivan:  “Now that Hillary’s no longer a factor, I’m gunna take a break from teh horserace, jump on the ‘Iraq is too werking!!!1′ bandwagon, and then boldly endorse Johnny McMaverick.”

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