“I know you’re into this transparency thing, but I don’t need to see your nipples!”

by matttbastard

Ok, after watching her razor-sharp performance last night at the annual White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, I’m now firmly convinced that Obama should totally dump Joe Biden at the local Amtrak station and bring aboard Wanda Sykes as running mate for his 2012 reelection bid–if only to FURTHER encourage brisk firearms sales in Real America (and stimulate teh Heartland’s moribund economy without direct government intervention!)

What?

Oh, come on — as if having a NEGRO LESBIAN FEMINIST in the White House (along with a dijon-loving Marxist) wouldn’t send the hyperparanoid teabagger set completely over the border into black helicopter/camouflage pajama country.

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Sean Hannity: I’m Funnier If You Are Drunk

by matttbastard

In the interest of science, I decided to conduct a little experiment involving me, Hannity, and a case of Stella (ZOMG imported liquid elitism!) Based on preliminary results, I gotta tell ya, it don’t look good for Sean (and, by default, conservative ‘humourists’ everywhere).

Maybe hard liquor fed intravenously is the difference maker.

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