Dear Corporate Media Assbuckets

Yes, Virginia, they DO get paid for this horseshit.

Using talk radio as a bellwether for broader public sentiment is only a slightly less ridiculous practice than citing the results of online polls like they’re actually quantifiable.  Seriously — did you neglect to read Guy Giorno’s email last week? Y’know, the one y’all mysteriously “obtained” (and dutifully published) that instructed Harpercon fellow travellers to flood the airwaves and the internet with Blue kool-aid?

Anyone? Bueller?

luv and handjobs,

matttbastard

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Dear Conservative Fuckbaskets

Taxi!

Show some fucking decency and pick another date to hold your little partisan circle jerk Rally for Canada.

Hugs ‘n’ kisses,

matttbastard

P.S. *points* Ha ha! /Nelson Muntz

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I write letters to the enemy

Dear Wingnuttia,

Congratulations. With this latest five-alarm inferno of assembly-line red-baiting stupid you have finally roasted the shark that you gleefully keep jumping over and covered its charred remains in a burial shroud that maybe-kinda-sorta looks like scary Muslim head gear. Try not to choke on any donuts in the midst of your perpetual orgy of faux-outrage.

Hugs and kisses,

mattt-che-hussein-arafat-motherfucking-free-mumia-bastard

(h/t maha)

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