Of Patriarchy and Paradox.

So, um, Happy New Year, kids. We at bastard.logic are proud to kick off 2011 with the debut of our newest co-blogger, Amy Lauren, whom you’ll no doubt be seeing quite a bit of as the year progresses. – mb

Being a girl has become undesirable somehow, something to mock.  Women are expected to behave like men on emotional level in order to gain their acceptance.  I admit I’ve experienced feeling compelled to go against the “girly-girl” stereotype on a base level from the time I was old enough to perceive the reaction it evoked from the opposite gender.  Always ready to roll my eyes at the behaviour of my female peers for the benefit of a guy.  At the time I thought it made me cool, individualistic, set me apart from the flock.  Now I wonder if I have always been naturally inclined to sell out my gender to please men?  As an ardent feminist this notion is vaguely disturbing, while at the same time admitting that I haven’t entirely broken myself of this tendency.

For the twenty-thirty-something this seems to play out significantly in sexual relationships.  Somehow if you’re not to be considered this negative girly-girl type you must treat sex in a casual sense.  Seriously, if I had a nickel for every time I heard “I’m not looking for anything serious…” well, you know.  The marriage and babies obsessed set was never my bag, but I internalized the notion to the point that it seemed okay to deny myself anything meaningful and long term as long as my physical needs were kinda-sorta met.  As it turns out, meaningless sex is not my bag either.

So what’s a girl to do?

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4 thoughts on “Of Patriarchy and Paradox.

  1. So what’s a girl to do?

    Jump to the end result of feminism & become a lesbian. No man in his right mind will ever get married to you. Enjoy your victory, enjoy your solitude.

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  2. I looove your title. Kinda, sorta oxy-moron – like a loser dude with skin problems HawrHawr Hey, girl. You like the old punkUation? I do. I love’m. Black Flag? MDC? GBH? DRI? SocD? I saw’m at the Outhouse, Lawrence, KS. SocD kicked, some, ass. Not that wimpy, wussy GreenDay/WingoStarr cr@p. *barff’n* That’s also taken on a new angst in my finite existence: try to git U.S. punks to not look so much at the whorizontal, but at Heaven Above where the sky‘s the limit. God blessa youse -Fr. Sarducci, ol SNL — PS If you see my blog, that’s exactly what EYE want MY eternity to involve. Take a lookit, girly. C’mon. Only your PC…

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  3. Funny – many moons ago I used to date and go out with women who were more macho tom boy types. Later I became gay but haven’t found any long term security or trust in those relationships for a while although I don’t think it’s because I’m not attractive!

    It’s rare to find same sex relationships that endure the same way some hetero ones do, that often have the benefit of the “security glue” of kids, family etc, especially as you get older

    I found it incredible that I came across a quote/interview from jk rowling (I cannot find it for the moment) who felt very strongly that the feminine role was more about nurturing, compassion, home, etc and she felt that was being undermined by the desire to succeed in competitive careers and harsh work environments. It is even more bizarre that that feeling came from someone who you could argue has been one of the most *successful* women on the planet, in all senses of the word, with a world following.

    If it had come from anyone else, I might not have taken it so profoundly.

    However we seem to be living in times when more and more women are taking traditional male roles, whether it’s driving delivery trucks, sweeping the streets, or acting in revolutions, facing the bullets, alongside men. It seems to be the spirit of the times and the way things are going.

    Maybe thats leading to a wave of bi-sexuality, more same sex experiences/relationships and general ambiguity about roles. Whether thats for everyone’s advantage in the long term, I just can’t answer, but it certainly seems to be going that way.

    Sometimes I think it is because we are heading for some kind of major planetary showdown in some way or another, and tough jungle survival instincts are going to count for a lot, whatever sex you happen to be.

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