Yes, more questions

by boomgate

At some point, we have all felt like the most attractive person in the room, as well as the least attractive. What we look like may not change a huge amount. But how others react to us can vary arbitrarily.

When someone looks past you in favour of another person they deem more attractive, why does this hurt so much, even if you aren’t interested? Is this worse than having someone talk to you solely on the basis of your appearance?

In some ways I wonder why these things bother me so much and why they bother so many other people out there. Despite what else you might achieve, women are taught on a daily basis that what we look like the most important thing. I realise that basing your self worth on your appearance can often be self destructive. However, like many things, knowing the basis of an inclination doesn’t stop it from existing.

As for myself, I have been giving these questions a lot of thought over the past little while. Of course I don’t like being leered at by some idiot–but, then again, it still upsets me to be ignored by someone I don’t even like. In theory I should be angry that these happen, yet at the time I very rarely am.

On a personal level, what do you find worse–unwanted attention, or rejection?

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One thought on “Yes, more questions

  1. I think it’s another of those “how were your neuroses shaped?” situations.

    Do you perceive attention from others as threatening or promising? Are you more wary or hopeful? What’s the fulcrum to tip it from one to the other?

    Speaking as a recipient of brutal social bullying in my youth, some of it deliberately couched as false friendship just to get my guard down, only to prove out as a method of humiliating me further — unwanted attention is the far greater dislike. If there’s no professional reason for interaction, and I don’t know the people very well, I don’t suffer gladly.


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