by Isabel
This site is old news, but it was only forwarded to me yesterday (I’m woefully behind the curve when it comes to forwards and memes).
The site is so over-top that it not only flirts with parody; it sticks its tongue in parody’s ear and promises to call it the next day. But it never calls.
Let’s have a look at some of the gems of wisdom that Dick Masterson has to share, shall we?
Labor Day is a very manly holiday, after all. Labor Day is why Father’s Day is bullshit. You don’t celebrate two Halloweens or two New Year’s. When compared to a day honoring labor, Father’s Day is redundant.
If there was a day dedicated to buying three times as much crap at a 50% off sale, or spilling fancy candle wax all over the carpet, then we wouldn’t need Mother’s Day.
If that’s all that it takes to be a mother, I may start to rethink my inclination towards tubal ligation. It sounds like a fairly easy job. My own mother apparently went above and beyond the call of duty. Not only did she take advantage of 50% off sales, but she also raised me by herself, kept me fed and clothed, made sure that I had access to medical care, helped me with my homework, paid for and drove me to tennis lessons, comforted me during hard times and rejoiced with me during happy times. I guess she was a bit of an overachiever, huh?
Out of all the problems that have ever or will ever exist on the Earth, there is only one that men haven’t and will never be able to solve — not because they can’t, because that’s ridiculous, but because the problem is unsolvable by design. Women hate sex.
No comment on that, aside from an irrepressible chuckle followed by a smirk.
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