But What Do You Get For Twins?

by Isabel

The governor of a central Russian province urged couples to skip work Wednesday and make love instead to help boost Russia’s low birth-rate.

And if a woman gives birth in exactly nine months time — on Russia’s national day on June 12 — she will qualify for a prize, perhaps even winning a new home.

“It’s normally something for the home — a fridge or a television set,” Yelena Yakovleva at the Ulyanovsk regional administration press office, said.

Is a television set a good trade-off for 9 months of gestation, a painful delivery and 18+ years of dependence? More importantly … LCD or plasma?

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The Emissions of Dick.

by Isabel

This site is old news, but it was only forwarded to me yesterday (I’m woefully behind the curve when it comes to forwards and memes).

The site is so over-top that it not only flirts with parody; it sticks its tongue in parody’s ear and promises to call it the next day. But it never calls.

Let’s have a look at some of the gems of wisdom that Dick Masterson has to share, shall we?

Labor Day is a very manly holiday, after all. Labor Day is why Father’s Day is bullshit. You don’t celebrate two Halloweens or two New Year’s. When compared to a day honoring labor, Father’s Day is redundant.

If there was a day dedicated to buying three times as much crap at a 50% off sale, or spilling fancy candle wax all over the carpet, then we wouldn’t need Mother’s Day.

If that’s all that it takes to be a mother, I may start to rethink my inclination towards tubal ligation. It sounds like a fairly easy job. My own mother apparently went above and beyond the call of duty. Not only did she take advantage of 50% off sales, but she also raised me by herself, kept me fed and clothed, made sure that I had access to medical care, helped me with my homework, paid for and drove me to tennis lessons, comforted me during hard times and rejoiced with me during happy times. I guess she was a bit of an overachiever, huh?

Out of all the problems that have ever or will ever exist on the Earth, there is only one that men haven’t and will never be able to solve — not because they can’t, because that’s ridiculous, but because the problem is unsolvable by design. Women hate sex.

No comment on that, aside from an irrepressible chuckle followed by a smirk.

Flashback: ‘If you keep this [expletive] up, I will [expletive] destroy you’

by matttbastard

x post @ Comments From Left Field

My fellow Progressive Blogger Mandos recounts a recent celebrity encounter. Colour me a bright shade of envious green; anyone with the stones to risk provoking the manly ire of Tucker C. is truly someone to be revered and admired. Considering what we now know about the wrathful Tucker, Charles is extremely fortunate Carlson only gave him a stern talking to, and didn’t return 25 minutes later with one of his especially muscular Beltway buddies – just to make sure the impudent video store clerk didn’t insult any other recovering bow tie addicts.

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