Dear Kyle Payne: Fuck. You.
More on this tomorrow (maybe). I’m still getting over the WTF effect. And, yeah, that infinite tape loop of shitfuckgoddammitfuckingwhatthefuckyoufuckingasswipefuckheadedfuck?
Oh, and In what is I’m sure totally unrelated news, Lynda Waddington of The Iowa Independent also reports that Payne’s attorney has filed a motion to delay sentencing, orignally scheduled for August 11th:
Defendant is in the process of continued counseling, the results of which will be presented at sentencing in this matter and may bear upon the Court’s determination of the appropriate sentences in the above-entitled matter.
Counsel for Defendant is in the continued process of acquiring letters of support to support to the Court (sic) at sentencing and reasonably believes that additional time is need (sic) to acquire additional letters.
My actions have been terrible and tremendously hypocritical, and they have caused harm not only to the victim, but to women generally, who deserve nothing less than an end to rape and all other forms of male domination. Recognizing what I feel to be my responsibility as a male ally to feminism, as well as a decent human being, I ask that any women reading this letter who wish to share their responses contact me via email at firstname.lastname@example.org. I welcome your questions, concerns, feelings, and anything else you would like to share. And I would especially welcome your thoughts on how I might move forward in my life with respect and compassion toward women. As I mentioned, practicing this posture of listening is vital to any notion of justice, and furthermore, it represents, I feel, a way forward through which some good can come of this situation. [emphasis in original]
And, y’know, while you’re helping Kyle be a better ally/human being, you can also pass along a letter of support for the poor duck–if you feel so inclined. Not that I’m suggesting that his heavily-promoted ‘cry for help’ ain’t nothing but a desperate, cynical ploy to save his ass from getting what it deserves.
Of course not.
P.S.: Fuck you, Kyle.
Update: Or, as Renegade Evolution puts it:
Listen, you fucking moron asshole, YOU VIOLATED that woman. Period. End game. Who is to blame? YOU! Got it, jerk? YOU. I hope to ALL that is sane or holy YOU pay for it. You have NO place in feminist spaces, no place where victimized women might be, no place speaking for or with us, you stain. YOU are a predator, got it?
Right the fuck on.
Update 3: Practical advice from belle:
Seriously, WTF? Who is the genius legal counsel who thought this was a good idea? I can’t even wrap my head around the REST of it. Just…die.
egh, never mind, sorry folks, better things to talk about here, just…wow.
–oh yeah, you CAN still write a letter to the judge to request that he get a -harsher- sentence (presumably this little heartfelt plea was meant to inspire the opposite response, God knows how). Details at Eleanor’s Trousers:
An “open sentencing” in the state of Iowa means that the public can attend, but not that the public can speak. While it always looks good to have people show up in support of the prosecution — and I’d personally really like to see some strong support in the courtroom — the fact is that not everyone is going to be able to speak.
For those who have a unique interest in the case… for instance, have served as advocates or can somehow speak with authority as to how horrible Payne’s actions were… get in touch with me. email@example.com
If you want to share your (civil) thoughts about this incident prior to sentencing, your best bet is to write to the judge that will preside over the sentencing:
District Court Judge Don E. Courtney
Buena Vista County Courthouse
215 E Fifth St.
Storm Lake, IA 50588
As a final note, there has been some discussion about Payne being charged with child pornography. This is not a charge he faces from the state of Iowa.
- Lynda Waddington
Update 4: Yeah, about the whole ‘more on this tomorrow’ thing–fuck that noise.
I could do a long, well-thought out response to his statement, picking my way through his words paragraph by paragraph. I could explain how I feel after reading this statement and include in-depth reasoning why I feel as I do.
I could, and I’d do it well.
I don’t wanna, tho.
Don’t wanna talk about Kyle Payne no more!
If one is going to waste any more words on Kyle Payne, I would humbly suggest that one should do so in a letter to District Court Judge Don E. Courtney (which I plan on writing tomorrow).
Also see jfpbookworm (h/t) for, er, a long, well-thought out response to Payne’s statement (along with a link round up of various blog reactions).
There is surely no question that male (and some female – but we’re talking about a man here) victims of childhood sexual abuse very often go on to become predators. That doesn’t make them insane adults who are neither morally nor criminally responsible:
Statistics involving men in New Jersey prisons convicted of sexual abuse, found that over 95% of the men, were in fact abused themselves. And we don’t know, but it could be that the 5% of non-abused men in that case don’t remember being abused as children; they may have amnesia or a traumatic dissociation.. Some abuse may be the attempt to relive one’s own abuse, with power roles reversed. Another reason may be these people have learned that abuse is a way of feeling in control. Fundamentally, in all cases of abuse, it certainly is about power and control. [...] It’s a complex and still unclear set of issues that drives childhood sexual abuse. However, it is up to adults to control their own behaviors.
Once again, here’s how Payne describes what he did:
While caring for the female student, I felt a sudden impulse to expose her breast. Not knowing how to deal with this feeling at the time – and to put it more clearly, not knowing how to make sense of such an urge, given my personal values and my politics – I acted upon it. With a digital camera I kept with me regularly, I briefly photographed and took a few seconds of video of the woman’s breast. She did not consent to this act, nor did she have any knowledge of it at the time. This event ended as quickly as it began, leaving me in a state of disbelief at what I had done.
That’s the excuse of a child with his hand in a cookie jar: woops, my hand slipped. Give that one a rest, Kyle. You say you didn’t know what to do with the urge? That suggests you thought about what to do with it. You know what the answer ought to have been. You had time to think about it. You had time to erase the photographs you took. You had time to find treatment and confess what you’d done. Apparently, you did none of that until, thankfully, you were caught and stopped. I hope your therapist tells you what to do with that urge the next time you have it. If not, check back here.
Also, Hysperia digs deeper into Payne’s purported work as an on-campus rape counsellor.
Update 6: Also via Ren, my future potty-mouth wife (assuming his current marriage disintegrates) PhysioProf drives the nail home with this foul-mouthed hammer of a post:
One hopes that parties involved in the sentencing priceedings will make all of this very clear to the judge. His actions continue to demonstrate an absence of willingness to take responsibility for his actions, and his delusions about the significance of his participation in FEMINISM and his self-attributed stature as a WOMEN’S ALLY are a scary sign that he deserves the harshest possible sentence to wake his ass the fuck up.
How do them cookies taste, Kyle?
Update 7: Purtek has a hammer, too:
The thing about “making amends” is first that you have to have actually changed in order for it to matter, at least enough for you to recognize when your so-called amends are causing harm. One of the first questions male “allies” to feminism ask – and here I mean real allies, which you can tell because I identify them as the ones who ask – is what they can do as men to help women. To help women deal with male violence, with pressure and double-standards and past traumas and current fears, to help end “rape culture” and the ubiquity of sexual violence. In your case, there’s a really simple answer to this question: stop violating women.
Update 8: It’s already been said, but it deserves to be repeated ad nauseam:
A true ally doesn’t feel the need to assault women in this manner. If you were even a half way decent human being, what you would have done is gotten up and left the room…but personal responsibility does not apply to you, does it?